Expect

ex•pect /ik’spekt (v)

                regard (something) as likely to happen.

Hai! Apa kabar?

It has been a year since my last post. Sedikit update aja ya tentang kehidupan saya yang gak terlalu penting-penting banget. Saya sedang menjalani kuliah di Politeknik STTT Bandung, jurusan Teknik Tekstil dan sudah masuk semester 6 and try to keep struggling. For the family update, beberapa bulan yang lalu Mama mengalami struk ringan dan ada gangguan pada jantungnya. My dad, he is doing great. My love life update? Hahaha, please, I’ve been single for like almost a year and a half but that’s what I’m about to tell you.

Mengapa terpikir untuk menulis lagi di blog? Entah, saya merasa saya butuh untuk menuliskannya jadi ya. Mohon dimengerti saja ok.

Okay so, what is expect actually? I google that and got an answer then I quite agree with the result.

                                                  

These past two years, I keep getting problem with my height of expectations. Di sini dalam konteks asmara ya. Ever since my last relationship I keep asking myself,”what do you actually see, want, need in a man you’re going to love?”. Well, I’d like to see my man is so compassionate loving me and I expected him to be. And when he did, I broke up with him just because sometimes that he was limiting myself, he became overprotective. Why he did that though? He said because he loved me. I’d like to see my man pursue his dream. And when he did, I broke up with him just because he became so busy and didn’t have a chance to just ask how my day was.

None of them are their mistakes. The problem is me yeah probably I was just selfish.

Setelah putus sekitar satu tahun yang lalu, saya tetap mencoba mencari sampai-sampai mengunduh salah satu dating apps yang notabenenya dikenal sebagai wadah untuk orang-orang yang hanya ingin melakukan hook ups or that one night stand stuffs. I matched with a lot of guys (not something that I should be proud of *sigh), but a few really catches my attention and there is this one guy that still keep in touch with me until today after the day we met. But yeah, begitulah kalau berharap dengan manusia. Kecewa ujung-ujungnya. Harusnya juga saya tidak semestinya menaruh harapan dan menggantungkan kebahagian di tangan orang lain. Saya seharusnya belajar bahwa kebahagiaan itu dapat dating darimana saja, salah satunya adalah the fact that I’m about to come to Movie Screening Spritied Away TOMORROW! Yeay! Atau mungkin kabar bahwa Mama mengalami perkembangan dan tidak mudah sesak napas pun sebenarnya sudah membuat saya senang.

The way to be happy is to be grateful for what you have. Because when you do, you don’t even have to expect what might come or happen to your life. You just have to do your best at the moment and also don’t forget to pray and the rest is just be grateful.

Please, forgive me if I take your time by reading this nirfaedah post. I just need to write.

And thank you I appreciate it ;)

Night, xx.